So, there I was in the middle of my living room floor, scraping up broken crayons that my three-year-old strong-willed-blessing had completely ruined. My daughter, Dylan, had robbed these crayons of their dignity. All their little clothes were off, they were naked and broken and all over the place. Just an hour earlier, I thought she’d be the next Picasso, a real artist. I’d even ordered a faux fur and beret hat from Amazon Prime and all. Lots of regrets here … lol!
As I scraped up these crayons, I started to weep. And while I am naturally a dramatic person, these tears came from an authentic place. It wasn’t the crayons at all; it was what they represented … brokenness. They reminded me of my life at the time. Newly divorced from a toxic marriage and headed into single motherhood, I’d just transitioned out of a church that was spiritually abusive and manipulative, so I had also lost the community that left with it, and I was straight up broke. I was unsure where I’d live, how I’d provide, and what was next for me. It was a dark season for my emotional, mental, and even spiritual health.
And if you’re there right now, I see you. If you’re feeling broken, like nothing is going right … If you’re feeling unworthy, lost, tired, and crushed, you are not alone in that. I want to offer you two things that helped me claw my way out of a valley of deep brokenness.
First, 2 Corinthians 12:9. The Apostle Paul writes about brokenness, and he says that when he gets worried about his brokenness, God says to him, “My grace is sufficient for you, and My power is made perfect in weakness.” Then Paul’s response is this: “Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly about my weakness so that Christ’s power will rest on me.” Listen, if you’re looking for the power of God, I want you to ask yourself, “Have I been brave enough to be broken?” Have you chosen to pursue false perfection or holy surrender? Because God is truly waiting for you on the other side of your surrender, of your authenticity, of your complete trust in Him.
And second, when I asked my daughter, Dylan, why she broke the crayons, she looked at me with all her sass and said, “Mommy, color!” and she kept on coloring. I think Dylan was trying to tell me — and even you as you read this right now — that Broken Crayons Still Color. God still has a plan for you; in fact, He does His best work in the broken places. He’s a master Redeemer and a Restorer of broken things. Let’s pray.
REFLECT & RESPOND
It takes the average person to hear something three times for it to really stick into their memory. Which means that reading this devotion once and walking away isn’t enough. I want to challenge you to read it twice more and dive into the questions and reflection below. You’ve got this!
Q: Can you think about a part of your life that makes you feel absolutely broken? Something that you’ve been holding onto that causes you to feel crushed emotionally, mentally, and possibly spiritually. I dare you to name it and write it down. Then go a step further and share it with a trusted friend.
Q: Is there a go-to Scripture in your life that you have memorized when times get tough? I dare you to find something like 2 Corinthians 12:9 or Psalm 34:18 or James 4:7 to cling to when times get tough. Something you can memorize and speak over your life, over and over again.
R: Write an honest letter to God about where you are right now. Oftentimes, we choose to carry burdens on our own because we think God is either ashamed of us or not willing to trade His power for our weakness. So how about you give it a try? Write an honest letter to God this week. Share your greatest griefs and invite Him in to carry them for you.